Coffeeshop Friends & Just Plain Friends..!

What refreshing times gathering around 'watering holes' of any kind can be..!

The coffeeshop arena has afforded me the opportunity (not only to draw cartoons and do Watercolor sketches, but) to meet so many nice people--i.e.: 'nourishing personalities'.

I think of so many--including Jeanette, Lavon, Kim, Pam, Jennifer, Gail, Royce, George, Matt, Oren, Kirk, Phyllis, Michael, Susan, Roken, David, Joe and Marcia, Don and Mary, Emmanual, Jason--and so many of the nice baristas and counter-servers at Uncle Harry's, Starbucks--and especially at Panera Bread..!

My great friend, Earl Templeman (18-wheel-trucker-Nazarene-minister--who is an outstanding biblical dramatist--trained by Charlton Heston's personal drama coach, Ralph Rogers) and I have enjoyed many inspiring times in coffeeshops.

Craig Easter, master artist-potter, another great and dear friend, coach, and encourager, and I have occupied many a restaurant or coffeeshop booth talking about the philosophy of art and doing social commentary.

Pastor Tom Sims, creative Virginian, is a master storyteller, writer, king of bloggers ("Dream Factory"), and a fantastically interesting coffeeshop conversationalist.

Michael Siler, Niels Werner and other dear coffeehouse pals, with whom I have emptied many a cup of fine Arabica gourmet brew, while discussing Christian Theology, principles of leadership, creative writing, Music, Psychology, and humorous social commentary, have been real encouragers to me in so many ways.

Dear friends like Don and Mary Leming--who've emigrated with me to Panera Bread--my new writers colony--always spice up my Psalm 23 retreat.

Fellow coffeeshoppers have inspired me to market my cartoons, music, art, and to finish my novels and screenplays--(versus just dreaming about doing it!).

Many great things and fine friendships have emerged from the 'perfect blend' of coffeeshop conversation.

George Fragos is a brilliant font of cyber-knowledge, personable, and a consumate coffeeshop aficionado--without whom Uncle Harry's would seem vacuous and incomplete.

The coffeeshop atmosphere can be a non-alcoholic "Cheers milieu" ("...where everybody knows your name") where authentic rapport can be established (unlike a barn-full-of-strangers mega church--Ha..!).

The coffeeshop can offer a setting where one can find nourishing folks (I believe there are only two kinds of people in the world: 'nourishing'--nice folks--and 'toxic'...I tell employers, "Hire 'nice'...because you can't 'teach nice'...you can't 'train nice' into folks).

Of course (study the history of human civilization) the proverbial barbarians are (always) at the gates. At (fortunately few) coffeeshops, the 'rough crowd' might show up after 7pm. Or there might be an occasional philistine behind the counter or wearing a manager badge and Aztec affect and murdering the Lord's English in the process.

But, of course, one mustn't fret over the Culture War in Society. Perhaps, in some aspects, there has already been a Coup--no longer a War--because the inmates can, at times, seem to be running the asylum. But the kingdom of God is always winning--and the Midianites will always eventually turn on each other..(the Gideon Principle i call it)..!

But, so far, that is the Exception not the rule. The coffeeshop remains a most satisfactory gathering spot for the civil, sane, and sensible (who're not recovering from ten years of Meth, ballistic-decibal headbanging, or a life of crime riding with the Hell's Angels).

ARE THERE STAGES TO BUILDING SOCIO-PSYCHOLOGICAL RAPPORT..?

To yours truly, the Social Steps seem to be:

(1) pleasant non-verbals: Friendly smiles, good eye-contact, greetings, introductions, handshakes:

(2) Discerning trustworthiness, light self-disclosures, attempts at rapport-building, mutual inquiries regarding the other(s);

(3) More self-disclosures, more rapport-building, attempts at humor; (4) Feeling more secure regarding openness, vulnerability, self-disclosure, and 'show-n-tell';

(5) Testing for the other's ability to think abstractly, to grasp more subtle or profound humor, attempting to discern the other's World View, thinking, and Belief System;

(6) Established trust, choice whether to 'bond' in friendship, to offer more in-depth 'show-n-tell', to have more flexibility in interaction, to enjoy optimal freedom with humor and joking--generally anxiety-free interaction and trust.

(Some ideas excerpted from: "St.Arbucks: Perfect Blend For Latte Villagers" Copyright 2007 by Philip C. Brewer--unpublished manuscript)